Food Review: Killer Brownies from GoldBelly

Killer Brownies - received April 2, 2019

Do you know those purchases you make because your eyes get greedy when they see something drool-worthy on your computer screen? And you just feel that primitive "me-want" emotion? Then read on, MacDuff.

I first heard of Killer Brownie when I was looking for a gift to send to my old college roommate. I stumbled across them on goldbelly.com . The brownie pictures! My eyes! My greed!

[Before I get into a review of the brownies themselves, props for the packaging. It comes in a cute tin, enveloped in gold tissue paper and individually wrapped to snugly fit into the tin.]

But, as is often the case, they were a little pricey for me to buy for myself. I could justify buying them as a gift (good thing that was why I was on the site) but couldn't bring myself to spend that much on four brownies for me, me, and me.

So I bought them for my old roommate and had them shipped directly to her. I can't remember which flavors I sent her but she told me later which ones were good and which ones were okay. Lest anyone thinks she should've just raved about them because they were a gift from me, I prefer she tell me honestly what she thinks of them. I want to know. Besides, it's not like I baked them myself and that she was critiquing me. I could've taken that too but that's besides the point. I like knowing because if they're really good, I'd order from them again and keep supporting them.

Her review was a little lukewarm which was a trifle disappointing, not just because I had hoped to send her a delicious gift that she would enjoy, but the pictures were so mouthwatering on the Gold Belly site. Like my eyes wouldn't let my brain process that they were less than stupendous.

The Original Killer Brownie

So, flash forward a couple of years later, I see Killer Brownies on the Gold Belly site again and this time they're on sale. In a weak, self-indulgent, retail therapy moment, I decided to make the splurge for myself. I ordered the Original Killer Brownie, the German Chocolate, the Brookie and the Blonde Ambition.

The Original is (per the website description): Layers of scrumptious chocolate brownies chock full of pecans sandwich a blanket of velvet caramel. Really, how could you go wrong? Hmm, well, unfortunately, you can go wrong a couple of ways. First,  I don't like nuts in my brownies. They have a nutless version but I wanted to try "the original" brownie as is so I got that, despite my aversion to nuts in baked goods. So that one's my deliberate fault. But second, this sounds weird but it wasn't so much chocolaty as sweet. I like my brownies richly chocolate rather than sweet and this fell in the sweet category.

German Chocolate Brownie

The German Chocolate Brownie was a little better, partly because I expected it to be sweet, I expected nuts in the frosting as per a typical German Chocolate topping and I love coconut. This is the only brownie Killer Brownie offers without caramel and it didn't need it because of the topping. Still not that chocolaty but most German Chocolate Brownies aren't.

The Brookie

Then you have the Brookie. As described on their website: A tasty combination of Not-A-Nutter (the Original but without nuts) and the classic, chocolate chip cookie. It has multiple layers of chocolate brownie with rich, gooey caramel and chocolate chips, topped off with a thick layer of chocolate chip cookie.

I liked the Brookie probably the best of the four, partly because it didn't have nuts and partly because the brownie base tasted more like a dark chocolate brownie than just a sweet one.

The Blonde Ambition

The Blonde Ambition is what it sounds like: a blondie made with macadamia nuts, "Heath mix" (presumably toffee bits) and white chocolate chips with a layer of caramel in the middle. As you can imagine, this was also sweet but that's also normal for a blondie. I also don't mind macadamia nuts in baked goods as much as other nuts.

I wish I could rave a bit more about Killer Brownies as I normally love brownies and, like I said, their food photography is amazing. But I'm also a bit of a brownie snob and I'm looking for a bit more rich chocolate flavor, not just sweetness in a brownie. I understand why they have to charge the prices they do but for almost $9 a brownie (that includes shipping and packaging), I prefer more of a robust dark chocolate flavor (not counting the Blonde Ambition, of course).